It was love..

“Don’t like me so much”, he said as he let go a puff of smoke from the cigarette between his lips.She observed his expressions. Did he really mean it? Or was he teasing her?

She wasn’t still sure how deep their relationship was.
Was it lust, love or both? She always wondered. Whatever it was, she knew she was addicted to it. As the thoughts were raging in her mind, her body was getting cozy in his arms. She wanted to be there forever. The smell of smoke, lined with a trace of her favourite deo and aftershave on him, was intoxicating as well as satisfying.
Some relations cant be named. This was one of them. She believed in rebirth, reincarnation, past lives, tarot readings, and all those intangible esoteric things.
More than present reality, she loved to be in her dream world.
Her imagination would run wild, from deserts to oceans, snowy mountains to lavish palaces, backyard to terraces, beach houses to temple ruins. She thought about being with him everywhere. Her deepest fantasies, her wildest dreams, all belonged to him.
This weekend was real. One of her fantasies had come true.
Spending two whole nights with him, undisturbed, had been magical.
She wondered if they would have shared the same passion, had they been married.
Sometimes, things happen for reasons that become obvious later. This may be one of those, them not getting married that is.
He was caressing her back, which she loved. She was enjoying the warmth, the mush, the sensual experience. It was worth the lies, the guilt and other not very comfortable feelings. After all, everything is fair in love n war. This was love..indeed.
I love you, she said, as she kissed his cheek. He smiled and said, me too.
She checked the time, her flight would leave in about two hours. However difficult, but she must leave now.
Her throat became heavy, tears were about to roll down, but she smiled. Like she always did, when that moment came. The thought of separation pierced her heart like a sharp spear. The wound would take a while to heal, but she liked the afterburn which the passionate encounter left on her heart. Like the sensation his stubble left on her skin, when their faces brushed while kissing. Time was up..she had to go. They hugged for the last time before saying bye. Their eyes met, the cab was waiting down. He helped her get dressed. With heavy feet and a heavier heart, she traced back her steps to the door. Not knowing whether to knock again, to look back again, she left his building.
As the cab left, she said “I lovehim”. She was sure.
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A visit to Varanasi

November 2017- A third eye opener.

An explorer at heart and soul – my visit to the holy abode of Lord Shiv- Varanasi has been magical.

Anyone who has the slightest touch of spirituality would agree that Kashi is mysterious, powerful and dramatic.

Words can only describe the place, but to experience it is another thing. Sharing it is an expression of the same.

What can I write about the complexity and contrast of this city. It has been like a time travel. Moving away from tall towers in Mumbai to humble houses on the streets of Benares, to feel the pristine purity of the Ganga.

The curse of Kaliyuga seems to have tainted the streets with filth and dirt, nonetheless, the piety and tranquility of the most ancient city can be witnessed only by the third eye.

A lotus blooms in mudponds, so does this city.

After experiencing the vibrations of the Kashi Vishwanath, Mata Annapurna temples and Ganga ghat, my mind body soul shifted a gear.

A spark of realisation was bestowed upon me. Here it goes..

We are One.

1,2,3 – the numbers are important.

In the early hours of dawn, I see the image of Shiva, a yogi with Alabaster skin, in deep meditation. I pour out questions. I don’t know if it was a dream or something else, but I got answers.

Three tenses- Present, past and future, three forms of matter- three layers of existence- mind body soul..and the three prongs of Shiv- the Trishul or trident.

A couple or duet represents ‘2’. Shiv and Shakti- but they are 1- One.

This seems like magic- can something be entirely independent of the other? Everywhere we observe, there’s co existence.

A magnet has two poles but it is one. Like the yin and yang, when two particles unite, they become one.

To live completely must be then, experiencing life on all 3 levels of existence..a mind body soul complex- acting as one.

Enlightened ones ‘1’s then must be seeing with the third eye or through the fourth dimension- time.

Then there were some funny ones, kinda personal questions..censored.

I don’t have any proof to back my conversation, no signature from Him, but it’s etched on my soul and I’m hungover.

Hope the conversation continues…

What inspires me to write..

Often my thoughts become so overwhelming, that they need to flow out of my head somewhere. Pouring them out on paper gives them space to relax, spread out and self organize. Just like pouring water colors on oil paper, thoughts make their own design.

Inspiration stems from nature, nature that we can see and that which we cannot see but just experience. The tangible and intangible, together produce a dynamic effect that we perceive as thoughts. As the world around us takes turns being in order and chaos, so do we and our thoughts. When the mind needs to be in order, our notes, blogs and books scaffold them into a structure. These structures guide us as our references, with which we share and relate. As a unit, all of us feel happy to share and relate with one another on various levels.

When we find such similar references, we feel connected and inspired. That’s how any kind of networking works. Writing and blogging is such an attempt to feel like a part of the whole!

What inspires me to write..

Often my thoughts become so overwhelming, that they need to flow out of my head somewhere. Pouring them out on paper gives them space to relax, spread out and self organize. Just like pouring water colors on oil paper, thoughts make their own design.

Inspiration stems from nature, nature that we can see and that which we cannot see but just experience. The tangible and intangible, together produce a dynamic effect that we perceive as thoughts. As the world around us takes turns being in order and chaos, so do we and our thoughts. When the mind needs to be in order, our notes, blogs and books scaffold them into a structure. These structures guide us as our references, with which we share and relate. As a unit, all of us feel happy to share and relate with one another on various levels.

When we find such similar references, we feel connected and inspired. That’s how any kind of networking works. Writing and blogging is such an attempt to feel like a part of the whole!

Paperworth!

Few days ago, my 84 yr old grandma had to go to the bank to exchange her old currency notes. I wished I could but didn’t have time. Well, I was busy in making more paper to add to my bank account. Then she had to submit her proof of living to get her pension. Another parchment to get more paper. She came home exasperated and said,” I am standing right in front of them, and they want a proof that I am alive?”

Yes, it did sound a bit silly. But that’s what we all have to succumb to. From cradle to grave, we are in paper.
Birth-Death Certificate, Passport, Convocation certificates, mark sheets, achievement records..Paper!

Old currency notes, unacceptable paper. New notes…acceptable paper.Own a property? Show on stamp paper. Okay, now there’s electronic paper..but it’s paper.

This paper worth doesn’t work for animals. They believe their instincts.When a mama bird flies away to get food back to her little bird baby, what paper does she access? We all want scientific proof..it has to be believed because it’s in ‘paper’. Somewhere in this maze of paper, have we forgotten to acknowledge our beliefs, faith and instincts?

Is the only reason many people lack faith in God or rather in themselves, for that matter, because He doesn’t have a stamped signed letterhead..of paper?

Just made me wonder..Is human life, trust, emotions worth just paper? Or is there more?

Winding roads..

Cutting through thick pine forests, the snake like winding roads took me to the narrow escape from the plains to the mountainous terrains of Darjeeling, Gangtok and Bhutan.
Rough, rugged, living on the edge literally, the people there made me ponder..

A life so close to nature, lies in the lap of beauty divine. Smiling Buddha statues lined by prayer flags and bells guide your path destined..rosy cheeks and humble hearts bless your presence pristine..grey ribbon like roads flanked by charming flowers of colours red, purple and aubergine..red pandas, furry takins, clouded leopards add to the treasures of the alpines..
   A brisk walk in the fog cleared my mind, God is no where, God is now here..just breathe and remind..

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